Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Light after the Dark.

Yesterday a co-worker said this to me: This might sound random and weird, but I’m so thankful that I work with you. You’re someone who is so positive and outgoing and easy to work worth. Some people are just downers but not you and for that I'm grateful.

While this was nice to hear it really confirmed that whoever that person was last fall is gone. The real Stephanie is back…and hopefully she’ll stick around for good. But it also made me reflect back on that difficult time in my life and how I got through it.

Last fall when I was going through everything there were two songs that helped pulled me through. Two songs that reminded me that what was going on wasn’t me and that I would get through it.
The first was was Roar by Katy Perry. Ironically it would come on the radio every time I left my counselors office. It became my anthem and I would take the long way home just so I could listen to the whole song…on full blast with tears running down my face. It made me feel strong enough to force whatever dark shadow was over me and make it go away. I know it sounds cheesy, but that song gave me strength. Even now when I hear that song I am reminded of that hard time in my life and that I did pull out of it!

The second song I heard only once at church after I had started feeling better. We went to the evening service which is the youth mass. The girl in the choir with the voice of an angel sang Empty and Beautiful by Matt Maher and as I listened to the words she was singing I fought back the tears knowing that I was going to get through this and God would always be at my side. Afterward, not knowing what song it was, I searched online and found it and every now and then I’ll give it a listen and just know everything will be as it should be.

Music has always had a way to speak to me; whether it be to cheer me up or fall in love. These two songs, despite representing a dark time in my life, are a part of my soundtrack. I will be forever grateful to the artists for writing them and helping through that difficult time.

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