Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Hard to be Happy

These past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions.  While we have been getting along good and I am doing fine physically, sometimes I find that it's hard to be happy.

It seems that everyone is having a baby, except us.  And don't get me wrong, we couldn't be more happy for everyone-we truly are.   I'm just saying that finding the happiness that is deep down in there beneath the sadness and disappointment and hurt is hard.

There seems to be constant reminders around every corner that our good news is no longer.  I received the packet from my health insurance in the mail-the good packet-with all the pamphlets and a book on healthy pregnancies.  I knew it was coming and I almost didn't want to open it.  Just another reminder that the last three months of our lives seem to have been a trial run-when all that time we thought we were in the race.
And I finally unpacked the suitcases from our trip to Michigan only to find the baby calendar my mom had given us.  I tucked it into the bag in the corner of our room that holds all the items we won't be needing for a while.  Out of sight out of mind-I wish.

But we are moving forward. 
We are dealing with life, when life is hard. 
We are working though it all together. 
And we are finding happy.

In our friends

In a big wet kisses

In everyday or not so everyday events :)

And mostly in each other

We are slowly letting happy come out to play and hopefully take up our hearts again where it used to rule.

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